It's been ten days since my breakup.
I'm past the mourning, roller coaster, freaking out stage.
I'm over the nights of tossing and turning, the sleepless interludes.
I'm over the fatigue, the heaviness all over--my legs, my arms, my heart.
My head no longer pounds when I try to talk or even think about what I've just been through.
My love affair is over.
I've kicked the coffee bean to the curb and don't plan on inviting him back in any time soon.
Let me tell you, quitting coffee is the hardest thing I've done in a long time. It's taken about 10 days for me to feel like I have my energy back. I've had headaches, fatigue, flu-like symptoms, heaviness in my legs (walking up a flight of stairs! killer!). I never would have thought it would be so rough.
I never thought coffee had it had such a hold on me. But it DID. And like an idiot, I kept returning to it over and over.
But not any more! I doubt this is a forever state of being, but for now it feels good to wake up in the morning and not have to stumble to the coffee maker for that cup of java before I can even crack open an eyelid. Or to not spend my thirty minutes getting ready while thinking about that first creamy, bitter sip. Maybe I was obsessed, but with only a two cups a day habit, I didn't think it was really that bad.
Now I have a renewed desire to stay healthy. I'm staying low on sugar and dairy, eating loads of dark veggies, and I've started exercising again.
I can't guarantee that a relapse won't happen this summer. If it does, I'm hoping my new lover will be slightly less demanding.
I'm going to try a date with decaf.
