The holidays can be rather stressful, as all women (and many men) know. The bizarre irony of holiday time is that it’s supposed to be magical thinking about the spirit of giving, and family unity, and it usually ends up being about how many things I can buy the person whose name I picked in the drawing for our Christmas gift exchange and still come in under the 50 dollar limit.
Basically the point of this exchange is to make myself look as good as possible--so the goal of the gift is to make ME look like a savvy, cool person who is so thoughtful that I would think of this EXACT thing for the recipient of my gift. It seems, if we're being honest here, that it has very little to do with making that person happy. Except, of course, if that person is happy it makes me look thoughtful! This theory might apply to all gift-giving situations, actually, and unfortunately.
On this particular Christmas it was my brother’s name I drew, which should be a blessing, because guys are notorious for not really caring what they get! They are so wonderful in that regard--they never make you feel like a jerk for picking out gold instead of silver earrings, or look disappointed because they wanted the 200 megawatt drill bit instead of the 100 watt. They just like everything!
So it should be easy to buy for them, right? No, actually, since we're continuing with the honesty, they are NOT easy to buy for because the flip side is that although they seem to like everything, it really means they have ZERO levels of liking. They like everything with a very mild “kind of” liking. They don’t love anything and don’t hate anything. And if they were God, they would “spew” all gifts out of their mouths, with the lukewarmness of the gift. Thank goodness my brother ain't the Almighty.
So the moment is here. As he unwraps the gift I so lovingly wrapped (a clear irony that it takes one minute to open a package that took at least five minutes to close, and much longer if you're a creative wrapper like my sister).....drumroll in the background...I watch his sweet face as if there were a magnifying glass behind my eyeballs....will there be a look of pleasure? Of pain? Of indifference? Oh, hope beyond hope, maybe his face will light up with that once a year smile of “This is exactly what I wanted!” and I can give myself an imaginary pat on the back and a big sigh of relief that I don’t have to return it. Because if he knew how little I REALLY spent on it (did everyone else hit those 70% off sales?), I would be mortified.
Basically the point of this exchange is to make myself look as good as possible--so the goal of the gift is to make ME look like a savvy, cool person who is so thoughtful that I would think of this EXACT thing for the recipient of my gift. It seems, if we're being honest here, that it has very little to do with making that person happy. Except, of course, if that person is happy it makes me look thoughtful! This theory might apply to all gift-giving situations, actually, and unfortunately.
On this particular Christmas it was my brother’s name I drew, which should be a blessing, because guys are notorious for not really caring what they get! They are so wonderful in that regard--they never make you feel like a jerk for picking out gold instead of silver earrings, or look disappointed because they wanted the 200 megawatt drill bit instead of the 100 watt. They just like everything!
So it should be easy to buy for them, right? No, actually, since we're continuing with the honesty, they are NOT easy to buy for because the flip side is that although they seem to like everything, it really means they have ZERO levels of liking. They like everything with a very mild “kind of” liking. They don’t love anything and don’t hate anything. And if they were God, they would “spew” all gifts out of their mouths, with the lukewarmness of the gift. Thank goodness my brother ain't the Almighty.
So the moment is here. As he unwraps the gift I so lovingly wrapped (a clear irony that it takes one minute to open a package that took at least five minutes to close, and much longer if you're a creative wrapper like my sister).....drumroll in the background...I watch his sweet face as if there were a magnifying glass behind my eyeballs....will there be a look of pleasure? Of pain? Of indifference? Oh, hope beyond hope, maybe his face will light up with that once a year smile of “This is exactly what I wanted!” and I can give myself an imaginary pat on the back and a big sigh of relief that I don’t have to return it. Because if he knew how little I REALLY spent on it (did everyone else hit those 70% off sales?), I would be mortified.
But, I don't know why I even waited in trepidation, because it was already a law of male gift-dynamics that he wouldn't be thrilled or ecstatic. He would be mildly pleased. And yes, that is what happened. He was genuinely somewhat happy to see that I had gotten him a plaid tie and a black sweater for Christmas.
Darn it. And I thought it would be special this year.... I guess I would have to wait one more year to prove my worth.
