The End of Things

Well, this is it.  The end of the year at an international school.  We say our goodbyes. We flutter into our summer lives which may be across the globe or across the street.  Most of us go back to our "home," the land where we grew up, and see family that has been missing us for months and in some cases years.

The end of the school year is the quintessence of bittersweet for me.

It's YES to summer and free days and family, and ice cream and biking and barbecues and potting flowers (did I just say that?  I rarely pot flowers).  Yes, to the place where I grew up, where "everyone knows my name."

But, as a teacher, this is also the end of a certain close-knit family that is created as you interact with students over a year.  They probably have no idea just how attached I become and how much I will miss them.

It's hard for me to say those things at the end because I get choked up, and it feels "showy" somehow, even though saying warm sincere words shouldn't be held back.

But I'll miss them.  I'll miss the know it alls, the smile a lots, the do gooders, the goof offers, the purely lovable ones, the naughty ones, and all the in-between ones.  I will miss every last one of them.

The good news?  Maybe I'll get them next year!

Happy Summer to all of you.

The Breakup

It's been ten days since my breakup.

I'm past the mourning, roller coaster, freaking out stage.

I'm over the nights of tossing and turning, the sleepless interludes.

I'm over the fatigue, the heaviness all over--my legs, my arms, my heart.

My head no longer pounds when I try to talk or even think about what I've just been through.

My love affair is over.
I've kicked the coffee bean to the curb and don't plan on inviting him back in any time soon.

Let me tell you, quitting coffee is the hardest thing I've done in a long time.  It's taken about 10 days for me to feel like I have my energy back.  I've had headaches, fatigue, flu-like symptoms, heaviness in my legs (walking up a flight of stairs!  killer!).  I never would have thought it would be so rough.

I never thought coffee had it had such a hold on me.  But it DID. And like an idiot, I kept returning to it over and over.

But not any more!  I doubt this is a forever state of being, but for now it feels good to wake up in the morning and not have to stumble to the coffee maker for that cup of java before I can even crack open an eyelid.   Or to not spend my thirty minutes getting ready while thinking about that first creamy, bitter sip.  Maybe I was obsessed, but with only a two cups a day habit, I didn't think it was really that bad.

Now I have a renewed desire to stay healthy.  I'm staying low on sugar and dairy, eating loads of dark veggies, and I've started exercising again.

I can't guarantee that a relapse won't happen this summer.  If it does, I'm hoping my new lover will be slightly less demanding.

I'm going to try a date with decaf.

Kids Say the Cutest Things

So this happened on April 1st, incidentally, although this is not an April Fool's joke.

I was in my daughter Rania's first grade classroom yesterday, taking the kids cupcakes for her birthday.  A cute little classmate of hers came up to me and said, "Hi Mrs. Woodward!"  (amazing poise and volume for a six year old).

I leaned over very far. "Hi. What's your name?"

"I'm Joel, and I was wondering if Rania can come to my birthday party?" (eager voice and face, complete with big white teeth)

"Why, I would guess so!  That's so sweet to invite her. When is it?"

"September 28th."

Endearing six year olds awaiting their birthday with breathless anticipation?  Priceless.

Juggling it All: Work, Kids & the Nonsense

Finding the time to write is almost impossible when you're a mom with three kids and you work full time.

My mom was visiting us for two weeks, which was fantastic, but things got even busier than normal, and I always felt like I wanted to spend time with her but I was being distracted by the nonsense of just living.  Like eating, sleeping, driving, working, helping with homework, buying groceries, returning emails, and getting kids in bed!

I don't know what I would do without our amah, Juvy, who makes living in Malaysia a dream come true.  If I had to add laundry to that list I don't know what I'd do.  I realize most parents in the U.S. and everywhere else don't have the luxury of live-in help--I am very blessed indeed.  How do most people do it?  I guess the house stays dirty and you eat pizza more often.

So...working on my novels, querying, and blogging have been low on my list of priorities lately.  The last two days I've had more of a chance to get back to work on these things that often get pushed aside in the busyness of groceries and paper grading, and it has been a joy to do so.

How to make it all work?

Breathe.  Sleep.  Drink red wine at night.

And laugh.  That's one thing I did a lot with my mom.  Whenever she'd say awkward things like "The Thailand people must..." or "Orientals..." or some other such old-fashioned phrase, I'd just have to shake my head and laugh.  Those midwesterners.  Gotta love 'em.  They bring you back to your roots, and remind you a smile and a laugh is sometimes all it takes to bring back the balance.

Top Ten Ways to Make Writing a Novel More Satisfying

My source of inspiration:  Bali

10.  When you are on the computer sit in a slouched position.

9.  Always have coffee next to you when writing—coffee makes everything better.

8.  Keep “pep talk” comments and goals above your desk:  “Write 300 words a day.”  Or “When at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

7.  The advantage of having to work on a computer?  You get to check Facebook and twitter every 15 minutes.  (Not positive this is an advantage…should actually be #10).

6.  Find your name online but doing other things.  It’s really someone else, but it will make you feel so good to think somebody might be impressed that you’re not just a writer:  you’re also a doctor in Albuquerque.

5.  Stop for a cupcake.

4.  Tell your kids you’re writing a book.  They are easily impressed! 

3.  Get your kids involved.  If the whole house is thinking and talking about writing, it can only make them better writers too, which is a great by-product!  My girls have repeatedly started writing their own stories over the past few years!

2.  Write about what’s really important to you.  It will shine through your novel, through your voice.

1.  Remember that at the end of the day, you can only do what you can do.  Every day I look for small growths and achievements.  Keep track of them, and at the end of the year you'll see big growth and hopefully big achievements!