The Guilt's the Thing

An expat lifestyle is a curious one. It's full of normal things, like many of my friends and family have back home. I get up, get my kids up, eat a breakfast on the run--an apple, a piece of toast, sometimes a bowl of cereal if I have time (gluten free rice chex are always in my cupboard) and then it's off to a full day of work, sometimes helping my kids with homework at night, having dinner, and doing it all over again the next day.

But as an expat I also have a full time amah (nanny/helper) working for our family, which definitely helps with my workload. She makes dinner most nights and can babysit when we need her to, so I can find some time every week to do some writing. Still, how do I carve out the time away from my family? Is there even enough time to be carved out, with a full time job and three kids?

My daughters will sometimes find me in the early evenings sitting at my desk, trying to drum up what I want my character to say or an important epiphany I want her to have. My eight-year-old does a great imitation of me, acting out what I hope is a more dramatized version of me saying "Can I please just finish this one paragraph!" followed by a disgusted sigh. When she first performed it for me I panicked: is this really what she thinks of me?

I'm sure there are times I don't give my kids as much attention as they deserve, or as I would like. I am praying desperately that I don't regret it someday. That my attention to my written words are worth the fewer words they might hear from me sometimes.

I guess it's a mom's job to feel guilt, is that it? I justify my writing life with the fact that I'm working hard at my craft and hopefully they'll see the importance of that and end up doing it themselves as an adult (not necessarily writing, but whatever craft they choose).

I hope this isn't just a pathetic justification, but there's some truth to it. I hope my example of working hard and being true to yourself will be as meaningful in the long run as if I had spent more hours making homemade lunches and playing tag. I'm well aware it's not just quality hours that matter, but quantity too. And that's where the guilt comes in.

Is it too little time or not? Maybe I should ask my kids.

Pride and Prejudice - a query

Jessica Sinsheimer and Shannon Alexander posted my "query" for Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice (love that book!!) for the "Query Ball" they're holding on tumblr! You can find my query and their responses here. It was amazingly difficult to write. Such a classic book with such special relationships--I didn't want to get it wrong, but they assured everyone that it was a learning experience, so flaws were welcome.

In an attempt to help give advice about queries, they have collected many contributions and have posted feedback for the queriers. Mine was posted today and they gave me their opinions about what I wrote! You can read what they put, great advice, especially about the final sections of the query.

I sent mine--gulp! And waited, hoping to get a critique. And I did! Yeah!!!!

Thanks to Jessica and Shannon for your time. It's been fun to read the queries and your humorous and thoughtful responses!



Here is my query!

Elizabeth Bennet has always thought she was a good judge of character…until she meets HIM. Mr. Darcy seems to be a pine tree of a person, all height and sharp needles.

Mr. Darcy is staying in the village for the summer, and despite having 10,000 pounds a year and an estate the size of which should make a girl’s head spin, Elizabeth finds him to be the most unpleasant of companions: fully aloof at parties, arrogant at every third conversation, and taciturn at all the others.

She also overhears him insulting her! So, when Darcy asks her to dance, Elizabeth thinks he’s being patronizing. But then he takes such concern over her dear sister Jane who’s fallen ill, Elizabeth can’t help but wonder who has tipped the world on its axis.

It’s also strange that his good friend, Mr. Bingley, with whom dear Jane is falling in love, is possibly the loveliest gentleman they have ever met, and not too inept on the dance floor either. Thanks to his 5,000 pounds a year, the young ladies’ mother is beside herself that Bingley is showering Jane with attention.

But that Mr. Darcy! He is Mr. Bingley’s exact opposite in every way. If arrogance had a name it would be D-a-r-c-y.

Of course that’s before it all begins to change…

If she refuses to listen, Elizabeth may still have her pride. If she gives it up, she might have a future.

At 100,000 words, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE reveals a world where marriage is for money and name is equivalent to status, yet one woman is fortunate to find true love in the most unexpected of places.

Thank you sincerely for your time!

PENANG!

It took me exactly six years, two months and 27 days to get here (well, something like that), but I finally arrived. I say six years because my hubby brought the girls six years ago while my oldest son and I visited the States for a Christmas vacation. Penang, Malaysia is a clever little place.

We walked around Georgetown this morning, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, in the dripping heat (sky was dripping humidity and we were dripping sweat) yet still thoroughly enjoyed seeing the unique architecture. Can't say my kids were quite as thrilled, but the idea of 30 cake varieties for lunch at CHINA HOUSE seemed to help us make it.

Georgetown seems more traditional to me than KL--the rickshaws, the classic British buildings (stop at the St. George's Cathedral! Bookmarks are 2 for 1 RM and the ladies are quite knowledgable about the history of the building), the view of the ocean, the street art. It's a special place.

To cap things off we enjoyed a fantastic lunch plus dessert and fresh juices (hubby got milkshake!) at CHINA HOUSE, an awesome little place recommended on The Yum List, Malaysia's premiere food blog. Visit it if you haven't yet (the restaurant and the blog!)--you will regret neither.

So, as I write this from my balcony with a view of the ocean, I say congrats, Malaysia. A gold star from one happy teacher on spring break.

A Little Pocket of Wonderful

Adults don't get many accolades. Do our children greet us in the morning with a hearty, "Thanks for all you do, Mom!  Thanks for tucking me in last night!" or "You're great at filling out my permission slips, Mom. Thanks."???

Clearly, many things we do in the course of a week and year go unnoticed.  So, to get an award for something I have been working hard at--my writing--has been sweet indeed.

Here's a huge thank you to Midwest Writer's Conference (http://www.midwestwriters.org/) for all the hard work the organizers put in this past weekend, and for many months, to make it a fantastic event. You guys rock! And winning the Manny award for long fiction was such a splendid surprise. Thanks to the committee for this award.

The award was for the first five pages of my latest project--a women's upmarket/ historical fiction set during the Revolutionary War. It is such encouragement for me to know that this is all worthwhile and that people appreciate my work (besides Mom and my husband, of course. Thanks to my constant cheerleaders.)

If you didn't make it to Muncie for the conference this year, you should consider it in 2014. It's a little pocket of wonderful right in the middle of Indiana.

The End of Things

Well, this is it.  The end of the year at an international school.  We say our goodbyes. We flutter into our summer lives which may be across the globe or across the street.  Most of us go back to our "home," the land where we grew up, and see family that has been missing us for months and in some cases years.

The end of the school year is the quintessence of bittersweet for me.

It's YES to summer and free days and family, and ice cream and biking and barbecues and potting flowers (did I just say that?  I rarely pot flowers).  Yes, to the place where I grew up, where "everyone knows my name."

But, as a teacher, this is also the end of a certain close-knit family that is created as you interact with students over a year.  They probably have no idea just how attached I become and how much I will miss them.

It's hard for me to say those things at the end because I get choked up, and it feels "showy" somehow, even though saying warm sincere words shouldn't be held back.

But I'll miss them.  I'll miss the know it alls, the smile a lots, the do gooders, the goof offers, the purely lovable ones, the naughty ones, and all the in-between ones.  I will miss every last one of them.

The good news?  Maybe I'll get them next year!

Happy Summer to all of you.